Welcome And Why V’s Story Matters

Host Tea 0:01

Hey you. Welcome to The Dating Chit. A space designed to help you move beyond assumptions and guesswork so you can date and love with clarity and confidence. I'm your host, Tea. Today's guest is V, V for Violina. V is one of the most genuine and charming people I've met since moving to the Bay Area. And I don't say that often. When we first met, what immediately stood out wasn't just her beauty or her warmth, but the depths behind both. Those two don't always come together. But with her, they do. And I remember thinking right away, there is a story here worth listening to. She's in her mid-30s, speaks three languages, well traveled and highly educated, a global citizen originally from Thailand. She's currently single. She's someone who really shines from the inside. Her presence feels calm, grounded, and open. She's thoughtful, emotionally aware, and deeply compassionate. She's a natural listener, someone who reflects before reacting. She's one of the few people who truly understand the fundamentals of smart communication. I find such a combination, it's just rare. Honestly, what a package. In this episode, we talk openly about the things women should be especially cautious when dating men from apps that often lead to emotional damage and the common dating missteps, the big turnoffs men make without realizing it. Also, to our male audience, we talk about what your action plan should be if you want to raise your chances with a woman you admire. And if you're a guy and want to guarantee a woman like V never want to see you again, we got some tips for that too.

V’s Global Background And Move To The US

Host Tea 1:45

So if you're a man wanting to understand Asian women on a deeper level, or Asian woman navigating dating across cultures, or just simply curious about what emotional maturity feels like in real life, this conversation is for you. If you're a single guy end up wanting to meet her after listening to this episode, you can find 'Apply to Date' application links on our website: thedatingchit.com, or access them in the show notes. Let's dive in. Hi V. Hi Tea. Welcome to The Dating Chit.

Speaker 1 2:15

Thank you for having me here.

Host Tea 2:16

Would you like to first share about who you are briefly and what's your dating life right now?

Speaker 1 2:22

Yes, my name is Violina. You can call me V for short. Originally I'm from Thailand, born and raised in Thailand. But I would say that I'm a pretty international person. I went to France during high school. I also worked and lived in Singapore for two years before decided to come to the US.

Host Tea 2:41

You live in three countries?

Speaker 1 2:42

Yes, I've lived in three countries.

Host Tea 2:45

I know you speak three languages.

Speaker 1 2:47

Yes. I was born and raised in Thailand, so that's in Asia. During high school, my parents sent me to France, so that's Europe. You speak Thai and French? Yes, Thai and French and English.

Host Tea 2:58

English. Okay. What made you eventually decide to come here in the US and Bay Area?

Speaker 1 3:03

Initially, I worked for an American insurance company, but I was based in Singapore. I was taking care of the Asia-Pacific countries. I got to come to the US for conferences and meetings. Also, my cousin lives in New York. So I got to come to the US pretty often before. Right after I got my MBA, I thought I wanted some time to explore what I want to do. Also, like I just got my MBA and I just wanted to launch my own business. I thought I have already lived in Europe before. However, I was just curious about the US, how it is like to live in the state. I was just

Dating Apps, First Relationship, And Lessons

Speaker 1 3:45

give it a try and came to the US.

Host Tea 3:47

Ever since you moved here in the US, what's your experience like in dating?

Speaker 1 3:52

Since I moved, I have only been to one relationship. I had one ex-boyfriend here. I would say that it's pretty easy to meet new people, especially in this generation, we have dating apps where it opens opportunity for people to meet very easily. However, I feel like it doesn't really work with me. Personally, I like to meet someone in person first in order to get to know the person, have conversation, have that first impression about someone in order to be more open to have a deeper conversation with them. But I have tried Dating App. I met my ex through Dating App. We were together for like almost a year and a half, but things didn't work out. I've been single since. What have you learned from that relationship? I'm curious. There's no right and wrong. There's no bad person, good person. I didn't see it that way. I feel that it's more about compatibility. If the core values are aligned, the habits, the interests, if they're like more than common, then maybe me and the person would get along more. But I'm grateful for my ex. I didn't really have any bad things to say about any of my exes. I believe that they were part of my life. I appreciated the memories that we had together. There were like lessons that I learned about people and I learned about myself. I would understand myself more, what I want in relationship and what I'm actually looking for as qualities in men.

Host Tea 5:30

Oh, you're saying that your previous relationship has taught you more about what you're looking for and what you're looking for in a partner.

Speaker 1 5:38

Yeah. Yes.

Host Tea 5:40

Would you like to share with us about that?

Speaker 1 5:43

Yes. Right now I'm 35 years old. I'm pretty certain as for what qualities in men that I'm looking for and that I want to have. The number one thing that I look in a partner is that they have to be Christian. They have to love God. Because I'm Christian and I think this is the most important thing for me. Because if we have the common grounds, the same values, the same belief, then

Nonnegotiables: Faith, Family, Consistency

Speaker 1 6:10

we would understand the decision process: where we stand, why we do this, and why we wouldn't do that.

Host Tea 6:18

I see. Being Christian is a deal breaker for you.

Speaker 1 6:20

It's a deal breaker for me.

Host Tea 6:23

What are a couple other things in terms of quality and man you could share with us that matters to you the most? I really like someone who is family-oriented.

Speaker 1 6:32

If they love their parents, if they're taking care of their parents, it also means that if we were to be together and build a family together, it also indicates that he will be the one who loves me and the family as well. I really like who is very intelligent emotionally as well.

Host Tea 6:54

Should I say that you're attracted to a person who is highly emotionally intelligent and also intellectualized intelligent?

Speaker 1 7:03

Yes. Was your ex like that? He is like that. He's very smart. He's a software engineer. One thing I noticed what I liked about him is that he is a very consistent person. This is very important. I can have five or ten guys who are like pursuing me, like me, but I will look for someone who is consistent, meaning being the same at the very beginning and still be consistent in terms of reaching out, texting, constantly want to get to know each other, not just love at first sight and then nothing, no follow-up.

Host Tea 7:41

Okay, rather than it with that. Do you think that goes for every girl? Despite the culture?

Speaker 1 7:48

I would think that most women also look for consistency as well.

Host Tea 7:53

Yeah. I see, so when you're looking for a long-term relationship.

Speaker 1 7:56

Yes. We want someone who is good at the start and also have been continuously being good. When you like someone, how do you really show to them? My love language, how I express to others, is quality time. I like quality time to receive and also to express.

Host Tea 8:18

That is your number one love language.

Speaker 1 8:21

Yes, that's why I do not want to do like long-distant relationships because I feel like the whole idea of being in a relationship is to spend time together, to create memories together. You gotta spend time together. Yes, in order to know the other more, not just how they treated you. For me, to learn about a man is to see how they react or treat other people. So for example, like if he's taking me out on a date, I'm pretty observant. I would notice how he speaks with the strangers, the people who work at the restaurants, how they react, how they speak with other people. That's actually how I learn about someone. Not just by how they're treating me, but how they are treating other people as well.

Host Tea 9:08

I think that's really important, how we treat other people. What do people like to assume about you when they're dating you that actually turns out to be completely wrong?

Speaker 1 9:16

Maybe they would assume that I'm high maintenance, but I don't think I am. Because I'm pretty easygoing. No, I really do not see myself as well. I feel you.

Host Tea 9:28

Yeah, I totally do. I think maybe I send that vibe too.

Speaker 1 9:32

No, like I'm I'm super like easygoing, super simple.

Host Tea 9:37

I would totally vouch for you. You're so sweet.

Speaker 1 9:40

Oh, thank you.

Host Tea 9:40

Yeah, and so warm.

Speaker 1 9:42

Thank you. I don't know why they got

Love Languages And Observing Character

Speaker 1 9:45

that vibe from maybe maybe this is how I dress.

Host Tea 9:48

Because you look cute.

Speaker 1 9:51

I just, you know, a simple girl. Are you also Buddhist? No, I'm Christian.

Host Tea 9:55

But I was born and raised as a Buddhist. Would you say that part of culture is still in you?

Speaker 1 10:00

No.

Host Tea 10:01

Being Christian and coming from Eastern culture, growing up in Thailand, and now you're living in the U.S. as a woman. What is the most challenging part do you feel like in dating?

Speaker 1 10:12

Honestly, I do not really see it as a challenging part. I feel like my experience builds my character, background, taught me how to handle situations, be totally emotionally intelligent, how to respond to conflict or argument, or how to meet different types of people who come from different backgrounds or cultures. People might do not understand that this simple girl actually have learned a lot from her past. I know. I think you can be easily underestimated. Yeah, I would say that because you wouldn't expect to meet a Thai woman speaking French, also Christian, lived in Europe, but then also now in the US. It's like over the places. But actually, it helps me to understand people more.

Host Tea 11:02

I agree. When we travel far and when we live at different cultures, we naturally adaptative to the situation and the And have more empathy for other people, right?

Speaker 1 11:13

Do you agree with that? I totally agree. Especially me, I have a soft heart for homeless. I would join my church community to do like homeless outreach once in a while. I love to give. I love to help other people. How do you feel about that? The feeling of giving away is so good.

Host Tea 11:31

Yeah, it's very rewarding.

Speaker 1 11:33

I do not know if rewarding is the right word because I do it with no expectation, no nothing. I just want to give away and that's it.

Host Tea 11:42

My experience with giving away and participating in charity work or volunteering work, I feel super happy. Yeah. And fulfilling. Yeah, fulfilled.

Speaker 1 11:51

Actually, this is one of the main reasons why I feel like corporate job is no longer for me. I want to live the life where I am able to glorify God, not just, you know, work and then go back home and work. I want to have a meaningful life. Our purpose is not work. Yes. I want to live life with a purpose.

Host Tea 12:11

Here is another dating question. What kind of effort a man would

Misconceptions And Being Underestimated

Host Tea 12:15

make that would make you feel respected?

Speaker 1 12:17

They have to be polite. They have to be well-mannered, know the boundaries, what not to do during the first dates. Like what? Personally, I do not like guys who are like touchy. Oh my god. Yeah.

Host Tea 12:32

No man should be doing that right on first date.

Speaker 1 12:34

No, no. But you could be surprised.

Host Tea 12:37

Some of them might not have that sense. Do you think there's a possibility you could have first kiss on first date?

Speaker 1 12:44

I think there are possibilities of men doing that on the first date, but this is not something that I expected. But actually, there's nothing bad about it. If it happens naturally, meaning like if you like the person, you're attracted to the person.

Host Tea 12:59

Just not like touching a creepy way. Right, right. It has to be like naturally. Yeah, like there's a mutual feeling, yeah, and you can see that.

Speaker 1 13:06

And it's like consensual, then I can understand.

Host Tea 13:09

Should I say that what turns you off early in dating, not just first date, is being polite or not.

Speaker 1 13:16

Being insensitive would turn me off. Insensitive in terms of be inconsiderate, be insensitive to everything surround you. For example, making jokes about religion or could be about the races or like how other people act, you know, about us, that would turn me off.

Host Tea 13:36

I feel like that spot in a way is reflection of lack of emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1 13:41

Yes. You probably don't want to see that guy again, right?

Host Tea 13:43

No.

Speaker 1 13:44

Because it also indicates to me that he would also very likely to be incarcerate when we are dating long-term as well. Like how I would feel, how his actions would have an impact on me, that would turn me off at the spot.

Host Tea 14:00

I feel you too. What do you want a man to understand about dating someone like you?

Speaker 1 14:06

Honestly, they have to be themselves. But they have to be themselves in a way that I feel that this person is a good person. Not to be fake, to be good, or not to be pretentious. Presenting just part of himself. Right. Just only looks good. I just want them to be naturally themselves. And from there I can tell whether like I would be attracted to that person.

Host Tea 14:32

Because you can always tell in a sense what person is trying to be not themselves.

Speaker 1 14:37

Yes. Like I said, I usually do not just observe of how they are treating me, but more of like how they are treating their friends, other people around them, especially the strangers.

Host Tea 14:49

In your dating experience so far over here in the Bay Area, do most men you come across and they have good manners like that? I would say yes, they have good manners.

Speaker 1 15:00

They know how to be respectful. You're selective then. I've been single for pretty long time. So before I moved to the States, I was single for eight years actually.

Host Tea 15:09

Oh, how did you get through the eight years? Yeah, eight years.

Speaker 1 15:12

I was like heavily focused on like career. I worked five days and then I went to school over the weekends.

Service, Purpose, And Leaving Corporate

Speaker 1 15:20

I worked really hard. Also, like I moved countries to countries. So I could not really like being in a relationship. Come on, eight years is a long time to be single. Yes. Seeing no one. No one. Yeah. So that last relationship would actually the first relationship after eight years. Wow. You needed that. So I would say most women should. I feel like everyone should be selective. Of course. Right. Especially women. Because once you fall in love with someone, you start to have feelings, and then if they disappoint you, then they would let you down. So I do not want any of that to happen to make it, especially at this age.

Host Tea 16:00

I resonate with that deeply. Yeah. What do you find are most challenging about dating today, just in general?

Speaker 1 16:08

I think most men, they're not emotionally available.

Host Tea 16:11

That's such a like big obvious thing out there now. That word is being used so often. I don't know if you noticed.

Speaker 1 16:19

This is also like the big reason why I'm no longer on dating app, because you can see many people there, but you do not actually know if they're really single-single. They might be within maybe like an argument with their girlfriends and just wanted to seek validation. Really? And they were just like on dating app just for that. Or they might be also like seeing multiple people, but still like want to keep their options open. You never know. I'm no longer in Dating App. However, mostly right now I make new friends through networking event or like the event that my friends organized, or like birthday celebrations, parties, and stuff. But still, I'm not sure if my understanding is correct. But I do have a feeling that men here have a hard time committing in a relationship. I'm not sure whether it's so easy for them to meet women as well, but I feel like they do not really want to commit. I would say that most women would think that it's their fault or themselves, but I would say that it's more of the men that are not ready, but they're on the field to find someone, but they themselves maybe did not even know what they're actually like looking for. And at the end, they would end up hurting someone. Because let's say like the other girls are ready,

First-Date Boundaries And Politeness

Speaker 1 17:35

but then he's not ready, and at the end, it's just sad.

Host Tea 17:39

At the beginning, you can't tell whether he's emotionally available or not. After the process of getting to know him, you recognize, oh my god, this person is actually not available. Right. And you already invested your time and feelings. It's so hard. I do believe that it happened to everyone.

Speaker 1 17:58

It happened to me. It happened to me too. I was sad, but at the end, you have to come back and understand that people have different journey and path and timing.

Host Tea 18:09

Anxiety. I'm happy for you. You see that and you experience that, and now you're able to protect yourself better and select better.

Speaker 1 18:17

Right now I would say that I'm at a good place. I'm healed from my past relationship. It's been quite a while that I'm single. But the thing is, at some point, I have that slightly thought that, like, oh, I give up in relationships. My guy friends would say, like, oh, it's so easy for you because we have more men in the Bay Area and it's easy for you girls. I hear that so often. No, it's not that easy. It's not. To find someone who is emotionally available. Yeah, that's number one, right? It's so hard. And emotionally intelligent and like a good person, a good man. I don't think it's too much to ask, to be honest.

Host Tea 18:54

No, no, it's just a basic thing. A few minutes ago, you mentioned that your past relationships have taught you more about yourself.

Speaker 1 19:02

Yes.

Host Tea 19:02

I'd love to hear about that.

Speaker 1 19:04

I definitely learned what characters I do not want to see in a man. Also, to start a relationship, you actually need more time to get to know that person in order to decide whether you want to be commit with that person long term. Because once you commit, once you are in that relationship, then you start to invest your energy, your feelings, you have developed the attachment. And if that person is not right for you, then it's going to be emotionally like draining. You had a few of those emotional draining experiences. Yes. I absolutely do not blame on my ex-boyfriend. Like I said, I think it's more about compatibility. Two people have grown up from like two different backgrounds, different cultures, different religion. So it's really hard to understand where he was coming from in this perspective and where I was coming from into this perspective. Because two worldviews, it's hard to find an agreement. How do you really handle conflicts or disagreements in relationships? My strategy is the same as how I handle conflict

Emotional Intelligence And Big Turnoffs

Speaker 1 20:15

with my friends or people who I worked with. I think the same thing is that you have to listen, do not react right away. You have to understand their perspective. Different people have different backgrounds and different perspectives. You have to know the person in order to interpret the message where they were coming from.

Host Tea 20:36

Are you saying you're a good listener?

Speaker 1 20:39

I would say I'm a good listener. I'm not the type of person who would react right away. My suggestion is that when someone says something that you disagree, listen, do not react. You can express your opinion or like how you think or how you feel, but not right away. Yeah, after you understand the other person. Yes. I used to work in insurance before, so I have dealt with American partners, European partners. Different cultures have different ways of putting things like speaking. One thing I noticed about American culture is that you have to say you, okay, I understand you. This and this and this.

Host Tea 21:18

Yes. To acknowledge you have heard them.

Speaker 1 21:21

Yes, that you have heard, then you say. Not just like, no.

Host Tea 21:26

Yeah. That's a very good way of approaching communication. I agree with that.

Speaker 1 21:30

You have to understand the culture where they've grown up with, and then the tone of how you're expressing your own answers.

Host Tea 21:37

That's in a way also shows respect. Listening is respect.

Speaker 1 21:41

Yes.

Host Tea 21:41

Definitely have to listen. Is it important that you be in a relationship with someone who is also able to do that? Being a good listener without judgment?

Speaker 1 21:51

It is very important, even with the friends. There is no way that people would agree with everything that you think or you said. At some point, there will be disagreement. Even with your partner who you're likely to spend the most time with. You want someone who are emotionally intelligent, listening, acknowledging, make me feel like they heard me. Then they can choose to explain, answer after. Definitely listening, communication skills are really important in the relationship.

Host Tea 22:22

Yeah, I think maybe everyone should always try to improve their way of communicating and improve their level of emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1 22:32

Yes, it's really important. It's like communication to be understand each other, but to keep the relationship going, you have to be able to handle that. How do you want to feel in love? I'm still like haven't found the love of my life yet. Are you looking forward to being in love? Definitely. I feel like everyone deserves to be loved. Me, I would describe myself as love. I love to love. I love to show people affection. I like to take care of them. So I want my partner to feel loved, but also I want to feel loved.

Host Tea 23:07

You fall in love with a guy

Selectivity, Long Single Stretches, Healing

Host Tea 23:10

and he shows all this affection. But he's the type of person who's not used to that. He's accepting your affection. But if you don't take initiative, he would not be keeping up the level of intimacy. In that situation, would you feel beat up? Like, oh, you yourself is pouring so much attention and intimacy and affection towards him, but you feel like it's always you taking initiative.

Speaker 1 23:34

Again, it comes back with understanding. You have to understand the person, who they are, what are their characters. If you decided to be in that relationship, knowing that that is his character, that he's not really expressive with his own emotions or like he's not affectionate, and you already decided to be with him, then you have to understand. You need to accept that. You understand he is like that. Also, it's the same thing as like the way I give. When I give to others people, whether it's my friends or homeless or anyone, I give with the feeling of like giving away with no expectation. So the same thing. If my love language, one of them is physical touch, of course I'm very affectionate. I love to hug, I love to cuddle, and I do that because I want to do that. Maybe it's hard to understand, but like from my end, it's not that I do not expect, it's not that I do it because I wanted to receive it back, but I do it because I want to do it.

Host Tea 24:32

Here's a clear example. Every night when you go to bed together, and you always cuddles him, kisses him. He never is the one who comes to bed and hugs you and kisses you first. You're the one who always does that first. And if one night you were not doing that, he's not doing that either. So how would that make you feel?

Speaker 1 24:50

Honestly, I wouldn't make a deal of it. That's cool with you. I wouldn't make it in my head that, oh, it's a problem. Because if you think it's a problem, then it's a problem. Because I know who he is. So then I wouldn't try to make what he's not, yeah, a thing in my head.

Host Tea 25:08

Because you also love receiving affections. Would you want like to tell him, hey babe, if you do this, I'll appreciate that too. Yeah, I think communication is really important. Would you be the person who would choose also to tell him to communicate for him to be more affectionate towards you as well? At some point, it might be something that like worth mentioning. Yeah, because you're potentially going to spend your rest of your life together.

Speaker 1 25:34

Yes. Sometimes actions they have its own meaning without speaking. Even without communication, I think he would know by now. If I kiss him goodnight every night, he should have known by now that like I like doing that. Of course, I would appreciate the reciprocation, like the same.

Host Tea 25:51

Well, I don't know about that. If you hasn't communicated, everybody will get that message. That's fair. Yeah, yeah. Still communication is important. If a man is genuinely interested in you, what should he be doing more of?

Emotional Availability And Commitment Fears

Speaker 1 26:05

Be consistent. Okay. Be consistent, meaning like reaching out to want us to spend time to see each other, making memories together, like do activities together. I like that. Be consistent about it.

Host Tea 26:17

Do you like receiving gifts? Is that your language as well? No. Really? No way.

Speaker 1 26:22

Yeah. Since I was young from now, I don't think I have received any gift from men at all. What? It was more me that giving gift to my exes.

Host Tea 26:32

I will say like gift giving is our Asian heritage as well. You do that. I do that. I enjoy doing that. I think it's also a way of expressing your love. Yes, so I would do that. But you can't date somebody who doesn't ever give you gifts. What about your birthday? Come on, girl. Your ex.

Speaker 1 26:48

No, I mean we might just like went out for like for dinner, like a nice dinner, and that's it.

Host Tea 26:53

Or maybe I think we've grown up. Maybe he's giving you a gift in the form of experience? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. That's also a form of gifts.

Speaker 1 27:02

I'm a foodie, I love food. And he would took me out to very like nice restaurants. Okay, so that counts, yeah. Well, a guy has to make efforts. Yes, yes. No, I appreciate guys who are like making efforts and also like be consistent. For sure. What would a guy be avoiding doing when he's genuinely interested in you? I don't like insensitive person or like inconsiderate person. Basically, they have to be genuinely a good person. You want someone who has a big heart, who's compassionate. Yes, genuinely a good person. Love to care of other people who they're not even know.

Host Tea 27:40

What's a common stereotype about Asian women dating that you wish people would just stop believing? Because over here in the bay area, people have formed their own opinion about Asian women.

Speaker 1 27:51

It's even sad for me to even think of it. I did not even like wanna express it. But I think everyone knows. It's very sad because everyone has emotion and has their own life decision. I try to understand people the way they choose to live their life, whether from what they choose to do.

Host Tea 28:13

Yeah, give a benefit doubt. Yes. Because we never know their backgrounds. We should never assume a person just based on looking at them. No, no.

Speaker 1 28:22

But it's pretty sad because I would say that I'm not so bad looking. Most of the time I notice that pretty women are being underestimated. Even like in the corporate world, people would assume that, oh, she got selected to be the face of the company or be the representative of the company to fly abroad just because she is good looking. But little did they know like it's because of my English-speaking skill, how I'm sociable. They would assume that pretty people would have things real easy. Maybe like some part of it is true, but in order to be able to be a part of Cupid Ladder or like be successful in life.

Host Tea 29:01

There are always people who would want to say stuff like that or to think like that. Yeah, but it's not true. All of us work hard.

Speaker 1 29:08

We work really hard to get

Conflict Skills: Listen Before Reacting

Speaker 1 29:10

where we want. Even if their stereotype is true, still it's sad for them to say or express it, to bring other people down, like, come on.

Host Tea 29:19

Yeah, that's not cool. That's not cool. Yeah. So what about in dating? What a common stereotype about Asian women that you wish men would stop believing, or just in general, people.

Speaker 1 29:32

So here I heard a lot about feminist, especially Asian women. We are very smart. A lot of them worked in tech. We're hardworking. Yeah, hardworking in tech or an entrepreneur, especially in the Bay Area. And I think men would assume that, oh, they're feminist or like they're like really strong or maybe too strong for them or like intimidating for them to pursue. I think they should view it as a strong trait. It's actually a positive trait. I'm speaking from a woman's perspective, even though I wouldn't say that I'm feminist, I am not. In fact, they should uplift each other. If they do not like, then maybe those women are not for them, but still, I do not like the idea of tearing each other down just because they're different.

Host Tea 30:13

That sounds very negative. We should not be spending our energy on that one. No. This is what I heard, and this is what I actually I think it makes sense. The type of men who will be intimidated of a stronger woman are not real men. They are just boys. Uh yeah. A real man would not be intimidated. In fact, they will be appreciating.

Speaker 1 30:33

I do believe that people have a certain period of life where they're still like learning about themselves. There were times I was still immature, but in the same time, I also do believe that men also have those phases of life where they might be immature. It might not be nice as to say it in the first place because now it is we're also judging them. The fact that we are kindly asking them not to judge us, but also I also do not want to see that as like a weakness in the men as well. I always give people the benefit of a doubt.

Host Tea 31:05

That's awesome. What's one saying you wish men stopped doing these days in dating general?

Speaker 1 31:12

Stop cheating. Stop cheating? Yeah. If you are committed in a relationship, then just commit it to one. If you do not see her in the future, then just end the relationship. If you want to date someone else, you have to end the relationship first. Second, I know that it exists among men. I think some of them like they're still like seeking for validation. People who are in the relationship and they're on dating app just to find a validation where they're like they can get a new girl within like a short period of time. Of course, they were always like women, but because they do not know. So I genuinely do not want to see that. The people who are not emotionally available and try to like be out there to find someone. Because if you're not emotionally available, you make someone like you, then you will hurt It's a very selfish behavior and irresponsible.

Host Tea 32:05

Yeah, so I would kindly ask that it would stop. Thank you for asking that. What's one thing you wish men would be doing more often in dating in general?

Speaker 1 32:15

I'm not sure if my answer would apply to a lot of people or not, because I'm looking for someone

Communication Nuance Across Cultures

Speaker 1 32:20

who is like godly, Christian, have like a Christ-like relationship where Christ is in the center of a relationship. So I just wish that they would go to church with me and then worship the Lord together. That would be the ideal relationship that I'm looking for. Be polite, be respectful is very important. In the Bay Area, a lot of people, we have diversity of people. You would see people who are coming from totally different background, different culture and religion. Being more sensitive about what you say, what you do, just be more mindful of your own action.

Host Tea 32:56

Oh, thank you so much, V. I enjoyed getting to know you through this podcast today. Likewise, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1 33:03

I feel honored to be your guest today.

Host Tea 33:05

I feel like we have so much more need to talk about.

Speaker 1 33:07

Yeah, I appreciate your time. Thank you. Thank you.

Host Tea 33:11

Isn't V exactly how I described her? She communicates in a way that brings people closer. She's non-judgmental, kind, and generous in how she gives people the benefit of the doubt. And here's something that surprised me in the best way: Violina is the first Asian woman I've met who genuinely doesn't care about gifts. What she truly values is presence, emotional connection, and being deeply understood. If you're interested in her, check out our show notes to find out how to apply to date her. And if you're curious to see what she looks like, head over to the dating chit on Instagram. If you enjoyed this conversation, hit subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who'd appreciate it. Or that one friend who needs a little faith, that amazing, grounded, non-demanding women really do exist. If this episode brought you value, you're always welcome to take me out for a virtual coffee at buymeacoffee.com/ the dating chit. It helps keep some mics on, and I truly appreciate the effort. And if you or someone amazing you know will be a great guest for this show, you will find the application link in the show notes too. That's it for now. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of The Dating Chit. I'm your host, Tea. Until next time, keep showing up. Stay kind, stay curious, and never settle for less than the love you truly deserve.