Welcome And Meet Amanda

Host Tea 0:01

Hey you! Welcome to the Dating Chit. A space designed to help you move beyond assumptions and guesswork. So you can date and love with clarity and confidence. I'm your host, Tea. Hi guys, welcome to this episode of The Dating Chit. Today we have a very special guest, Amanda, and we're gonna have a really interesting conversation, something that I have not had on this pod before. She is a kink consultant, and she was also one of the mysterious dominitrix in New York. Today, she's a certified sexologist and intimacy coach. She has tons of experience in relationships and especially intimacy. In this episode, she and I are diving into the nuances of sexual communication, exploring when and how to introduce desires to your partner or somebody you're dating. Whether you're just starting a relationship or looking to deepen your connection, Amanda's insight today are surely going to enlighten and empower you. Believe me on this. By the way, if you're interested in getting more clarity in dating and relationships and ready for some truth bombs about relationships in general, I invite you to follow my Instagram and X. Just search Tea Liu or click on the links in the show notes. Let's get started. Hi, Amanda. Hey Tongalag, how are you? I'm doing great and welcome to the Dating Chit Podcast.

Speaker 1:27

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Host Tea 1:30

I'm totally so excited. On this podcast I'm hosting, we have not opened up a conversation in the field that you are expertise of. So I'm super excited of having this conversation with you today.

Speaker 1:43

Me too. I love to talk to people about relationship sex, how to have better sex, how to have better conversations about sex. So if you guys haven't gone into that in uh your podcast yet, I'm excited to bring that to you today.

Host Tea 1:59

That's so exciting. I want to introduce Amanda again. She's a certified sex and relationship coach, sexologist, and uh she's also a former professional dominatrix.

unknown 2:12

Yep.

Timing Sex In New Relationships

Host Tea 2:13

So she has a really interesting experience, and she has a lot to say in this area based on her expertise and also her experience. So, Amanda, I want to just first uh start our conversation with your take on when people starting out off of the relationship, when is a good timing to have sex and how to introduce uh your desires to your partner?

Speaker 2:38

So I think the best time to have sex when you start dating is when you're ready for it. And what I mean by that is people can have sex on a first date. I know there's a lot of people are like, no, you have to wait three dates. On the first date, if you're both feeling it and sex is important to you both, you might do that. However, there are other people who want to get to know someone better. Or they won't feel good about themselves if they feel like they had sex too early. That's a little cultural. Some people feel if I have sex early, I'm giving it up too easily. But other people are like, no, they understand their body, they understand their pleasure, and they want to explore. So I'd say when you're ready, if you want to have sex on a first date, you can. I will admit, if you are trying to have a long-term relationship with someone, I don't think sex on the first date is going to be the way to build a long-term relationship because it can work out. I'm not saying it can't, but I think that's high risk, right? Like most likely it won't work out. You want to get to know someone on a deeper level, most people, so that you know there is long-term potential there. But I'll never tell anyone not to have sex if they want to have it. As long as it's consensual,

The Real Barriers To Speaking Up

Speaker 3:53

go for it.

Host Tea 3:53

So throughout your experience, dealing with individuals and couples, sex is such nuanced and a hard topic for a lot of people to open up, talk about their desires, like what they truly like and want. So I'd love to hear whatever you have to say on that one.

Speaker 4:12

Yeah, this is a really common problem, even in the best marriages, the marriages where everyone gets along really well, they agree on everything, they never argue. Even in those wonderful marriages, oftentimes topics of like how to have better sex in the bedroom or when one person's needs aren't being met in the bedroom, it is so difficult to bring it up for many reasons. But if I were to really categorize it, I think number one, we don't like giving or hearing bad feedback. We don't want to hear we're not doing a good job. Telling your partner they're not doing a good job might be easy to do if they're not keeping the house clean, but when it comes to sex, it's such a sensitive topic. You don't want to criticize your partner. So it's difficult to bring it up sometimes. The other thing is sometimes we don't know what we want. We know we want quote unquote more. Like I want more from my sex life. I want sex more often. But when it comes to describing what you actually want, we weren't taught how to talk about sex. Growing up around friends, we were taught what sex was and we talked about our experiences. But no one's ever taught us how to talk to our partner about sex. And if you are uncomfortable with the conversation, it can be difficult. So, like that's another area where it's hard to communicate these things. And then there's the other part of the final one is even if you are ready to talk about it, maybe your partner is not as receptive.

Host Tea 5:44

So for And also the risk there is without having a conversation, right? You really haven't understand what your partner is into, what they like, and it could be the opposite of what you like, right? That's there's a risk to that.

Speaker 5:58

Oh yes, especially if you've never spoken about it before, you might have opposites. And to my last point, yeah, sometimes you might share and they might not be interested. So then you're facing rejection, and that's really difficult. But there's also an opportunity to learn your partner. And this is something that a lot of couples are struggling with in terms of they want to try something new. For any of those reasons, they're scared to bring up the conversation. But most times, and I've talked to a lot of people about this and talking about your desires with your partner, most times your partner cares. They want to make you happy. So they're going to be curious or at least interested in understanding you a little bit. So there is going to be an opening usually

A Simple Framework For The Talk

Speaker 6:46

to talk.

Host Tea 6:46

So, what are some of your practical tips of how to open up a conversation? Like perhaps when.

Speaker 6:55

Oh, okay. This is my favorite stuff to talk about. So I think the when is going to be one of the most important parts. And even I skip over it sometimes, but I forget, I need to remember to tell people, have to set a time to talk to your partner. Talking about your bedroom life is not something you do during carpool or when you're trying to get to bed at night. You need a sit-down time with your partner to actually set a time with them. That's my first example.

Host Tea 7:26

Treat you like a one of the many other relationship issues, right? The sex topic doesn't need to be had in the bedroom.

Speaker 7:35

I think that when you move it outside of the bedroom, the vulnerability, the sensitivity goes away. So you're able to hear your partner more clearly. Sit down at the table, have a cup of coffee together, set time to have a discussion. So then you're treating it seriously. You're not in the situation you're referring to, you're not in the bedroom. Separate yourself from where, like you're talking about your bedroom life, be somewhere else. Focus on it almost like couples sit down and budget together and they talk about finances. This is almost like a budget conversation.

Host Tea 8:11

Okay, I have one quick question. Yeah. I think there can be moments where it's suitable to have that conversation after sex before you actually go into sleep. Perhaps there's something your partner did over and over, finally you reach a moment like, um, I really need to bring this up to him. At that moment, you will be cuddling together, being happy together, so you could bring up something gently. Do you think there could be something like that going on as well?

Speaker 8:40

I think you'd have to be very careful. If you have just had sex and the other person enjoyed it, what might happen is if you bring something up at that time, I always want you to be honest, but think about it. Is there a better time to bring it up? A time where they will be more receptive. It's not about you. I want you to share your feelings if you didn't enjoy it. But think about when is your partner going to be most ready to listen? And it's not usually right after the sex happens. You kind of have to wait. That's why I recommend separating it out and holding on. The only time I will say you can give the feedback is during sex, if they're doing something you don't like, it's okay to say, Hey, can you try this instead? So juring, you don't have to put up with it until sex is over and wait to say it. If you can say juring, like, I don't want this, or can we change it up? And then when you do finally sit down to have that separate conversation, lead with curiosity. Do not just sit down and say, Hey, you're doing this thing and I hate it and it's wrong. You know.

Host Tea 9:48

Well, that sounds like no go for any type of conversation, right? Yeah. Although I think we're all probably a little guilty of having a conversation like that when we're passionate about the topic of just being like, I need you to know this. So sit down and be curious. Say, hey, I want to have a conversation about our sex life, or hey, I would love to talk about fantasies. The first thing you do is ask your partner, you invite them into the conversation. Ask, do you have time for this? Hopefully they say yes, or you've pre-arranged a time for it. The second thing you're going to ask is, do you have any fantasies or desires you'd like to explore? You ask them because you want to be curious about what they have to say, and then you listen. Usually, if you're the person bringing it up, the other person doesn't have anything to say. And if they say no, you say, This is your chance to say, Well, I have something I'd like to share. And once again, ask them if they're okay. Are you open to hearing it? You're constantly getting them to agree to having a conversation with you. And if you lead with curiosity, what that says is I'm open to hearing from you. I want to share with you. So I would recommend you start with curiosity, you listen, and then you share. Well, I feel like even though still it's a super sensitive topic, I can see the conversation can go two different directions easily. Because you don't know the other person's boundaries. Where do they lay? Right?

Speaker 11:24

Yeah, this is a great point. So I love that you're bringing it up because you're spot on. And I actually did create a free worksheet for people to use together because to figure out what your partner's boundaries are. So I'm gonna give you the link to this free worksheet called Speaking Your Desires with Confidence. And I go through it in that, but I do want to talk about it here too. You don't know your partner's boundaries, but if you open up to them about what you're interested in and you also share with them this is important to me, it also helps your partner reframe their boundaries because they have to think, okay, it's important to them that I try this. How much am I against it? Am I willing to try it, or is it absolutely a no from me? And if they understand it's important to you, your partner gets to make a more informed decision. But just like you said, imagine I'm the partner and I'm hearing for the first time that my husband wants to be submissive, let's say, or wants to try something in the bedroom that I'm not fully comfortable with. I could say two things, I could say, like, I'm willing to try, but it doesn't sound good, in which case that's a positive conversation. I trust that you two will be able to, especially with the help of my worksheet, work through that and figure out how to try it.

Host Tea 12:52

Okay.

Speaker 12:53

Yeah.

Host Tea 12:54

So you're mentioning your bot worksheet. So what exactly composes in this worksheet so we have a better understand?

Speaker 13:02

Yeah. Just like I talked about, you set a time to sit down with your partner and have the discussion. This is the exact same thing, except when you set time to sit down, you each have a copy of this worksheet, and you're asking yourself questions first before you share with your partner. So the question does start with do you have any fantasies? What are they? I see. And then you're thinking about your own fantasies. It also asks another important question. Why do you think you'll enjoy that? How do you want to feel while trying that? That's also making you think more. It's not just what I want to try, it's helping you be ready to explain it to your partner of why I want to try it.

Host Tea 13:46

That's so important. I like that question. That really helps to understand the reasons behind it. Maybe there are stories behind it, for you to be able to really connect and really understand where he's from, where she's from.

Speaker 14:00

Yeah. That's exactly why, because sometimes we don't understand what our partner wants, but we can understand how they want to feel. So if they say something like, I want to feel free or I want to feel like mysterious, and we can try it in this role play. A partner might understand better. Like, oh, I don't know why they want to do this, but I understand a feeling. So I'm gonna try and help them achieve that. So when you answer those questions, you know yourself better and you can communicate better to your partner.

Host Tea 14:36

I can see this can be very effective. I imagine there are more productive questions in your worksheet. I can see that could work for couples who have conversations more about exploring initial interest of sex instead of fantasies, which is such a big level, right? It's next level kind of conversation. When you talk about fantasies, your most inner desires, what do you really like sexually, what you really want. However, you have not had that yet in your relationship, in your marriage. And now you're talking about it. This conversation has to be built on a tremendous trust where you feel like you're able to really speak of your desire, right? Otherwise, even though, okay, we have worksheet, we have this conversation, but how my partner is gonna see me if I tell him or her, this is what I really want. I could be ashamed of telling.

Boundaries Judgment And Rejection

Speaker 15:29

Yeah, and I do work with a lot of people. Like to your point, even if it's not kink, if it's just sex, a lot of people still feel shame about sharing these things because it can be embarrassing. I will say that if you want to have the conversation about sex with your partner, it is important to have trust. So if you don't feel you trust your partner to treat you with respect and listen to what you have to say, I think you have bigger problems in the relationship. And before you even start talking about sex, you probably need to start talking about how you communicate in general and respecting each other enough to listen, to care about what the other person has to say. That was a great question because you can't have conversations like this if you don't respect your partner, because I don't think you're going to be taken seriously. Or if you think they don't respect you.

Host Tea 16:28

I think the rule has to be before any conversation relates to sex, it has to be like there's no judgment. But people judge. Like your partner will judge if they are not ready for the type of a desire and fantasy you're gonna share.

Speaker 16:44

They're gonna question your history and what have you been- Yeah, I do because I think part of the reality is you have to be ready for that. Even if you trust your partner a lot, you have to be ready that they might judge. And the reason is your partner might not even be judging you, but what's happening is they're so nervous or the thing that you're suggesting is so new that they're uncomfortable with it. When we're uncomfortable, we try to distance ourselves. We don't want to be uncomfortable. So if your partner brings something up and you're like, oh, not that, the easiest way to get away from that conversation is to say, no, I don't want to talk about it, and just leave the conversation, right? So you have to be prepared for that because that's a reality if you're worried your partner will be uncomfortable. So you kind of just have to personally be ready and have your points mapped out. Think about what you're gonna say. Like if they say no, I'm not interested, or no, I would recommend you ask back, can you tell me what about it makes you uncomfortable or why you're not interested in it?

Host Tea 17:53

Ask be curious.

Speaker 17:55

Yeah.

Host Tea 17:56

That is such like a good communication skill. That sentence you just said.

Speaker 18:01

Yeah, and it's important because it's so easy for you, if you're the one starting the conversation, it's so easy to shut down after rejection and just think, okay, fine, this is never gonna happen and give up. Be curious, keep moving towards it. It was important enough for you to bring up the first time. Don't give up. Continue to be curious and ask more questions. You want to understand their point of view because they might say, the truth is, they might say, Oh, well, I hate doing this X, Y, and Z thing, but you don't even want that. Your partner has just imagined a different thing than what you've said. So remember that too. Get clarity on what they understand from what you've shared to make sure you're on the same page.

Host Tea 18:50

Well, there's another question that just came to my mind, and I think this is quite difficult one. For example, I have a desire. I want to be submissive to my partner. Let's say we communicated, and my partner showed no interest to that. And now I think he will worry that I'm a hair affair because that is my desire, right?

Speaker 19:18

So what do you say about that? I think that you have to have an active conversation. This is a conversation that I do talk to people about. Say your partner is not interested, right? And they're like, no, things are fine. And I would recommend you say, it doesn't feel okay for me. I want more. And you ask them if you're open to it, if if you are open to having more than one partner, you could say, Well, are you okay if I explore this outside of our relationship? You can try that. I what you're describing of someone just being scared, oh, what if they go elsewhere? It is common. People think, oh, if I can't be everything my partner wants, they might leave, they might do something, they might go behind my back. Have that conversation. If you're bringing it up in your partner you know is a jealous type or nervous, you could even just tell them, like, look, I am asking you because I want this with you. Reassure them that you aren't going to run off and cheat if you feel like they would be worried about it. But equally, it is a valid and okay thing for certain people to be in non-monogamous relationships and get their needs met by more than one partner. And I have a lot of clients who they are married and monogamous sexually, but when it comes to a specific fantasy, they will go outside of the marriage consensually, like everyone's agreed to it. So I would say you have that option that you could talk through, but if you have a jealous partner who doesn't want you to go outside the marriage, you can assure them if it's true, I don't want you lying to your partner. But if you won't cheat and you're not going to go look for it elsewhere, make sure your partner understands, I'm asking this from you because I want it with you. So this is just between us.

Host Tea 21:13

In the scenario of my example, if my partner really has no appetite for playing that role to be in control, then if he will not have fun to just trying to play in that role, just trying to be a good partner.

Speaker 21:30

Then does he worry that you would go try and be with someone else to get that experience? My partner has desire.

Host Tea 21:37

And I trying to play my role and satisfy him. However, I realize I really don't like doing that. And I don't want to keep doing that. However, he loves it. Like, what's gonna happen next? We communicate it and we realize this is the outcome and reality between us. And I want to stay in my monogamy relationship, and what's gonna happen to this relationship.

Speaker 22:00

Would have a conversation about monogamy and ask, is this still important to you? Is it important enough that you can give up whatever it is you want or you think? It's okay to have these difficult conversations. I would rather people ask direct questions instead of worrying and thinking, oh, are they gonna go cheat on me or are they gonna look for this elsewhere? Ask. Be open to have the conversation.

When Desires Do Not Align

Host Tea 22:26

Okay. Here's another question based on that. When someone has such big desire of something sexually and their needs are not met. Yes. Is this going to be a huge deal? Are most people just gonna be keep pursuing their desire? Or there are other ways you can do other things instead so that you're not constantly thinking about that and you're not feeling that you're missing out.

Speaker 22:54

It depends. For some people, it's so important to them that yes, they will keep thinking about it and that will never go away. And for those people, maybe they'll watch porn, maybe they'll read novels about it, maybe they will still socialize with people who understand them, even if they don't engage in the play. Just being around people who understand their need can be helpful. So there are options for them to accept this about themselves and live with it, but no, they cannot have it in their relationship or at all. The other, like one thing you sometimes have to do is you process the disappointment of knowing you can't have the thing you want, and you grieve it. You think about how I'm choosing this one version of my life, and in this version, I won't have the thing I want. And we're humans. Sometimes we are going to be disappointed and things aren't going to be. Then yeah, sometimes breakups happen. Yeah, if you are open to having the conversation, if your partner is open, maybe something else that happens sometimes, the partner doesn't want to do the thing, but they'll dirty talk about it. So in the bedroom, they'll just talk about it, and then that can help the person get what they need.

Host Tea 24:46

Wow. Thank you for that information. I think this sounds like a much simpler solution to many situations.

Speaker 24:53

Yeah, I think for a lot of people it is because it still allows the person to get what they need in some way. You just have to be more creative. The role play. Yes. So making an effort, right? Yeah. And I think that that's also where conversations about, well, what part of it makes you uncomfortable? Maybe it's just, well, I don't even know what to say. And then there's a solution for that. The solution is, oh, let me teach you what to say. I can write some things down. I can show you some videos that I like so you can. Yes. I can listen to podcasts. Yes, exactly. Podcast, YouTube. You could hire a coach. I help people with this one-on-one. Exactly. And I work with couples in this exact scenario where one person wants it and the other person is not as enthusiastic, but they love their partner. They're open to it, they just don't know what to do. And then I step in and help them understand their partner better.

Host Tea 25:52

That's awesome. I have a feeling, this is just my assumption. I feel most couples don't speak out of what they really want. It's true. And you do you think that creates disconnection between their intimacy?

Speaker 26:09

I think it definitely does create disconnection. And I think what's actually happening is you have to communicate about so many other things that intimacy is not a priority. When you have to pay bills, if you have kids, when real life is happening, you have to deal with it in real time. So your bedroom life, your fantasy, that becomes something you're going to handle later. And you keep pushing it off and not having the conversation. And I think when that happens, it only gets harder to bring it up. So because it's easy to deprioritize your sex life and your intimacy, and it's difficult to talk about sometimes for all of these reasons. People don't talk about it, and the disconnect grows and grows until the problem is so big, it feels like talking about it will never fix it. I disagree with that, but I know that it can feel that way sometimes.

Host Tea 27:06

It sounds like sex desire is the same as any other relationship issues. If you do not solve it properly in the right time, then it accumulates. One day it just becomes too complex and too big to solve.

Speaker 27:20

Yeah. And it can seem scary because one day you wake up and think, how did this happen? Where did it go? And instead of piecing it all together and thinking, well, this is how we got here, it just becomes, oh, my sex life is terrible. It's always been terrible. And that's not true, but that's how it feels. So then you create that problem in your head that's bigger. Yeah.

Talk Sex Before Marriage

Host Tea 27:44

Amanda, I also want to ask you, do you think the couples should be open and honest about their sexuality and desires before they get married?

Speaker 27:55

Good question. Yes. Absolutely. I know too many people who knew what they wanted before marriage, but they didn't bring it up for many reasons. They didn't want their partner to think they were weird. They thought bringing it up would ruin the entire relationship. And they actually thought, oh, as if we're married, then they're not going to run away from me. So I can bring it up then. Definitely not the way to go. Great question. Yes, please bring it up with your partner before you get married. Bring it up as early as you can because you want your partner to accept you how you are. And if they can't accept this piece about you, you should know that before you choose to marry them.

Host Tea 28:38

What are the consequences in your reality? Good question.

Speaker 28:42

Of bringing it up? Of not bringing up. You know the saying, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, or something like that. You have to talk about it to get what you need. So the consequence of not bringing it up is never getting it. Or your partner finds out and then they feel like you were hiding something from them. And then they feel they don't know the real you. And you may think, oh, my part you do know the real me, except to your partner, they're looking at you like, well, you didn't tell me this big thing that's important to you. What else are you not telling me? So I think that's a big consequence. And then the other consequence is, what if you do tell them? And it is such a big deal to them where they are so dismissive of your needs that you get hurt because you're like, oh, I thought they would at least listen. These are things you want to figure out before you get married. So it's the rejection piece. And then this almost never happens from one conversation of bringing up your kink, but like there's a fear of getting divorced. Or your partner might say absolutely no way, and you realize, wait, I married them. They're saying no way. I don't want to never have this. Maybe I should get divorced. So these are some of the risks.

Host Tea 29:59

Yeah, I totally understand. I can resonate with that. Um there are definitely huge benefits of talking through everything finances, sex, desires, before you get married. When you talk about this, you have more leverage of like talking through what do I want? What do you want? What's more important? Can we align as couples?

Speaker 30:19

Yeah. Will we ever agree on this? Yeah. And it's just better to know what your partner's interested in, too. Like, I would want to know if my partner had a fantasy or desire before I married them. Also, if you're married and then they bring it up, one of my first questions would be like, Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would want to know why they didn't tell me. And maybe they just figured it out. That happens. People are older and they're like, oh, wait, I'm into this thing. But also sometimes they say, Oh, well, I didn't know how you'd react. And I think that's hard to handle if your partner is scared of how you'd act.

Worksheet Help And Final Takeaways

Host Tea 30:59

So, Amanda, because this is a really sensitive and difficult conversation for many of us, normal regular people, to bring up to our partners. Let's say if a couple plan to get married and they now recognize it's important to have this conversation, do you think the first step is safer to reach out to a professional like you and invite you to the first conversation? Would that be a more safe approach? Or it is totally okay. They can follow your worksheet and they can try their first step from there.

Speaker 31:34

I would recommend trying the worksheet first because I want you and your partner to figure out how you can talk about these things together. There's always a chance you're going to figure it out with each other first. And then after you figure it out with each other, you could still hire a professional to help. But if you are the type of person who says, I can't bring this worksheet to my husband or wife, I'm too embarrassed, that's telling you something about yourself. You're shy, you're ashamed, maybe, or embarrassed. And if that's how you feel about bringing this up, definitely contact a coach or a therapist. You need to work through that internal shame before sharing with a partner because it's a hard enough conversation when you trust yourself and you accept yourself. If you have internal shame and you're like, oh, I'm embarrassed to mention this, you need to work past that because when you bring it up to your partner, it carries a different weight. If you feel ashamed and you're embarrassed and you're like, this is gross and horrible, but I need it. When you go to your partner, they might think, ooh, this is horrible and gross because they feel that from you, right? You know? So you have to go into the conversation being enthusiastic and confident in what you want. So if you don't feel you can go into the conversation like that, please talk to someone, bring a professional in so that you get started in the right way. Awesome.

Host Tea 33:01

Great advice. I think today we had a great conversation about how we should communicate with our desires, sexuality to our partner, no matter what stage of a relationship we are in. And me and Amanda, we also plan a second episode, right?

Speaker 33:17

Yes, we do. We're like, we want to go deep on this. We want to talk more.

Host Tea 33:21

There's so much to talk about in this world. So next episode, we're gonna talk about kink. The world of kink.

Speaker 33:32

And I have a lot to say.

Host Tea 33:36

But do you have any peak to us?

Speaker 33:38

I think that some of the things I used to be a professional dominatrix, as you mentioned. I'm gonna share some stories about being a dominatrix. I'm gonna talk more about the clients I've helped and what situations they've been in, different kinks they've shared with the partner, and how that all unfolded for them. And just if you are kinky, how there are options for you and you don't need to be embarrassed. So I'm gonna go through all the juicy stuff next.

Host Tea 34:05

Thank you so much, Amanda. I look forward to that too. That sounds also gonna be super helpful to many people who have desires like that.

Speaker 34:12

I hope so. I tried.

Host Tea 34:15

All right. Thank you so much, Amanda. I really enjoyed our conversation today. Likewise, thanks, Tongalag. See you in the next episode. Thank you guys for joining us on today's episode of The Dating Chit. My guest, Amanda, dropped some serious wisdom on how to communicate your desires and keep things real in your relationship. Agreed? I hope you found our conversation on sexual intimacy, building trust in relationships as valuable as I did. I surely learned a lot. So stay tuned for our next episode. I'll be exploring the intriguing world of kink with her. If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to subscribe, leave a rating or review, and of course, share with a friend. These simple gestures really help the podcast so much. And I appreciate your support. Check out the show notes for the links to the books. Apply to be a guest on this show. Thank you again for tuning in to this episode of The Dating Chit. I'm your host, Tea. Until next time, keep showing up, stay kind, stay curious, and never settle for less than the love you truly deserve. See you in the next episode.